I’m sitting in a bar in the Los Angeles airport, still thousands of miles and hours from home. In limbo-land, if you will.
Since last I blogged here, a simply massive amount has happened. So much, in fact, that I failed to record days 3 and 4 of our trip to Cairns. This is sad. They were even more lovely than days 1 and 2.
Since then, I have closed a lease, moved across the world, said goodbye to Australia before I was ready, stepped up my work as a lead unorganizer of Kink For All New York City, and ended my four-year relationship with Meitar. I have also decided not to move to San Francisco this spring and spent almost every last cent to my name getting myself from one side of the planet to the other.
Those are just the things I feel all right saying, sitting in an airport bar where I’d like not to break down at the moment, please. There are many things unsaid, about sick family members and loneliness, and being lost, Australian culture, the different personalities of kittens.
I am so, so excited for Sunday. I really want KFANYC to go well. I think that with strength, focus, and commitment it will go well. It is a good model with a lot of excited (and exciting) people invested. I have faith.
If I were a slightly wiser person, I might not write about my high hopes for the event right alongside dire descriptions of my personal life crashing into flames. But I am taking a page out of Penelope Trunk’s book, and telling the truth. Stressed people can still start companies and run events. Just watch us go.
A little fragile. All right, perhaps more than a little. I will be glad to come home, where ever that turns out to be.
5 Comments
For what it’s worth, I’m really proud of you, reading this. I may have no right to be proud, because it’s not like we know each other very much at all. Still, proud I am. You’re taking amazing steps in making yourself anew. You’re strong and dynamic and doing things that matter to a lot of people. I’m proud to know you at all.
KFA is going to be awesome, thanks in large part to your work. Good luck with everything.
Well, I’m glad you’ve safely gotten to the other side of the world. Sorry to see you go. It’s hard to take the first step to change your life but after that it gets easier. As a friend of mine once said, “You shouldn’t be afraid to take a wrecking ball to your life.”
Best of luck with the next steps.
Heeey! It was really awesome to finally meet you on Sunday! I wish I could have been a better conversationalist, but I had a headache that was doing its best to make me a zombie. I kind of just wanted to cuddle with you, but restaurants are not the best venues for that.
Good luck wherever you end up geographically and personally, and I hope to have many more internet conversations with you. We must find our kind and tell them “Yes, we do exist!”
Hey Ranat,
It was awesome to meet you too! I would also have loved more time to talk and/or cuddle, but was similarly zombified. More conversations will definitely have to happen, and hopefully together we will bring more of our ilk into the light.
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