Tonight was my company’s Christmas/non-denominational-holiday/end of year dinner. Meitar came along, and I threw him in the crowd of my workmates and watched him come up admirably. I felt gratified, and proud.
It is so, so lovely to get us all out of work and talking to one another. All of a sudden all of the tentative connections we’ve forged over the high shelves of our desks and the formica of the office kitchen are blown out, robust and full.
When we got home, Mei and I talked about giving good impressions. How do you give a good impression, when everyone you speak to changes? How to retain your authenticity in the face of the chameleon-game of shifting to matching your circumstances? Is there ever a balance to that, or should I resign myself to always giving away just a bit too much, in the hope of remaining true to myself and my passions?
The food was amazing. I have never had lamb so tender, and the dessert wine really did finish me off. It’s bedtime. I’m tipsy. I’m happy that Mei and I have Christmas plans. And, I like my job. Stellar.
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I call this the curse of professionalism. This year I had to learn the hard way that it’s unfortunately all about the perception others have of you regardless of whether your work is impeccable, so to get ahead the “game” needs to be played. And as someone who values honesty, integrity and just plain being myself and to hell with the consequences, this was a bit confronting…
So the question is more whether the people you saw tonight were truly chameleons or whether they had just let their guard down for the night. I favour the latter on this one.
What strikes me most is how likely you seem to be with liking your job after you’ve been at it for a while. Clearly, my greatest weakness is my impatience and inability to work with people who do not “get it” as well as I do. Naturally, that is also my greatest strength.
So the question is more whether the people you saw tonight were truly chameleons or whether they had just let their guard down for the night. I favour the latter on this one.
Hey Grant! Good question!
I know that I personally feel very chameleon-like in almost every context. This is so dramatic that I will actually change the way I speak, dress and stand depending upon the people I’m interacting with. I’m not sure how true this is for my co-workers. At the same time, I do let my guard down sometimes, as I did tonight. The mix is interesting, and its success really depends upon the people around me, rather than upon me. The question then is, how to gauge people well enough to know when to drop my guard?
Meitar-
I think the reason behind that is fairly obvious. Much of my job happiness depends upon the people I work with, and it takes me a while to get to know people. Given time, I form a much clearer opinion of a work space than I would in the first few days of a new job.
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